


Madness

by lostinmymindforever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ass to Mouth, Biting, Blow Jobs, Bruises, Car Sex, Dark, First Time, Insanity, M/M, Patricide, Rimming, Scratching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 14:19:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/lostinmymindforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was going to Hell, he knew that, he'd known that pretty much his whole life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Madness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pavses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pavses/gifts).



> Dean is 8 years older than Sam rather than 4

Dean was going to Hell and he knew it. You didn’t live the kind of life that he led and not expect to end up burning for all eternity. He’s been a strange kid growing up, quiet, too quiet, and too old for his years. His parents worried about him, especially when they found out that his mother was pregnant for a second time. Dean behaved as well as he could, he might have been strange and wrong, but he was good at faking it to outsiders.

And then, when Dean was 8 years old, his parents brought home baby Sammy. Dean’s world turned upside down, his attention focused on this harmless, defenseless little boy. And for the first time in his entire life Dean felt... normal. But that normalcy only lasted six months until the fire that took his mother’s life and set his father on a path of vengeance, and forced Dean to look after Sammy, no matter what.

Dean learned pretty quickly just what was going on, learned about demons and monsters and learned above all how to take care of his darling baby brother. The hunts gave him a focus, and looking after Sammy filled him with a purpose. It should have been enough, should have kept the dark whispers in the back of his mind quiet, but it didn’t, and as the years passed they grew louder and louder, telling him to do things, bad things, but he never listened.

It wasn’t until he was older, until he was old enough to hunt on his own, that things started going downhill. Without Sammy around to ground him, to calm the voices and urges that plagued him, Dean found himself unable to deal. And it wasn’t as if he could tell his father the truth, he’d lied his whole life, never once letting John know that something wasn’t quite right with him. 

And so Dean came up with a plan, a surefire way to calm the voices, a surefire way to make sure that Sammy would be with him. His father had to die.

Dean planned it all out. He called his father, requesting help on a hunt, and John came to his aid, just like Dean knew he would. And with John was Sammy. God, seeing Sammy again did something to Dean, made his mind wander to places it had no place going concerning his 12 year old little brother, and Dean wondered if he should really go through with what he was planning. But Sammy’s smile at seeing him, Sammy’s arms wrapping tightly around his neck, Sammy pressed tightly against him as if he belonged always at Dean’s side made him stick with his plan.

With Sammy safe in a motel room, Dean and John took off after the monster they were going after, or so John thought. Dean had already killed the thing, days before John and Sammy had arrived and John had no clue that Dean was leading him to his death. Dean did what he had to, killing his father swiftly and calmly, making it look like the work of the beast, going as far to injure himself so that when he got back to Sammy it would look like they had both been attacked.

And Sammy believed him. Why wouldn’t he, Dean had never lied to him as far as he knew. A part of Dean raged at having to lie to Sammy, mourned his father’s death, but he knew that the man was trying to keep him and Sammy apart, and that Dean couldn’t deal with.

Months passed and they continued to move around, Dean taking up home schooling Sammy, just so questions weren’t asked. They shared a bed, but that wasn’t unusual, they’d shared one for years growing up, almost until Dean was 18 and being sent off on his own. Dean had to control himself, stop from acting on that little urge that wanted him to touch and take and make Sammy his in every way. It was wrong, and unlike the rest of their lives, Dean wasn’t about to cross that line. He wouldn’t do that to Sammy.

But if Sammy wanted it... if Sammy initiated it... well Dean wasn’t gonna fight it then.

And so the months became years, and Sam and Dean traveled across the country, hunting demons and monsters, picking up odd jobs here and there, hustling when they had to to earn money. And if Dean developed a type, guys with hazel eyes and shaggy brown hair, that was his business. He wasn’t hurting anyone, wasn’t doing anything wrong, wasn’t listening to what remained of the voices in his head, those dark whispers begging him to take Sam and fuck him and make sure that no one else would ever touch him.

But god was it getting hard to not give in. Each day seemed worse than the last and in the previous few months Sam had developed this little quirk that was slowly driving Dean to distraction. Sam had this thing about going around almost naked whenever they were just in their motel rooms, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that had seen better days and were a few sizes too big. Dean was certain that Sam wasn’t doing it on purpose, that Sam wasn’t trying to drive him to distraction, that Sam wasn’t just taunting Dean into shoving him against the wall, yanking those stupid boxers off of him, and fuck him into oblivion.

At least Dean thought he was certain of that. But Sammy was 16 now, growing quickly, almost as tall as Dean was. Dean remembers the one glimpse he got of Sam’s cock, remembers how hard he got, how that image is what he jerks off to on a daily basis. It’s almost enough to drive Dean even madder than he already was, and Dean knew he was mad, knew the voices he always heard were a sign of his delusion and craziness.

But fuck if Sammy wasn’t making things hard on Dean. Dean seemed to be picking up people more and more, trying to get that image out of his head, but in the end it was always Sam’s face he saw when he came, always Sam’s name he wanted to say, biting his lips bloody just so he wouldn’t. And Dean wished he had the nerve, wished he could just take what he wanted, but Sam was special and he wasn’t about to destroy what they had just to slake the never ending need that seemed to fill him.

Everything came to a head in the middle of summer. They were stuck in this shitty little motel, it’s only saving grace an AC that actually worked, though the room only had one bed and Sam had been sleeping by himself for years now. It was too hot to go outside, and they were in between cases, so Dean had decided to just stick around in the motel for a bit, to cool off and relax, but there was Sammy strutting around the room practically nude, miles of tanned flesh tempting Dean.

“You know, Sammy,” Dean said, trying to keep the lust and want out of his voice, “you keep flaunting around like a little slut, someone’s bound to take you up on it one of these days.”

Sam gave him this look, one Dean had never seen before, at least not on Sammy’s face, “Yeah, and I’d let him.”

Dean was up in a flash, shoving Sam up against the wall, hard enough to hold him in place, but not tight enough to hurt him. He leaned in, voice almost a growl, “No one fucking touches you, Sammy, you got that?”

Sam moved against him, as if he was trying to buck Dean off of him, and the action forced their crotches flush against one another. Sam was hard, and he could tell Dean was too, and that made all fight leave him, “What if it’s you I want? What if it’s always been you, Dean? Does that still count? Are you not allowed to touch?”

“Sammy,” Dean’s voice was raw, and he didn’t know what to think. Before he could say anything else Sam was pressing his lips against Dean’s, Sam’s fingers grasping tightly at the thin material of the t-shirt Dean was wearing. Dean pulled away long enough to growl out, “Mine,” before taking Sam’s mouth once more in a kiss. 

Dean pulled Sam with him back towards the bed, spinning them around and shoved Sam down. The look Sam gave him was scorching, taunting, desperate, as if Sam wasn’t sure Dean was going to actually go through with this. “Sammy... want you so much. Gotta be sure, though, gotta know you really want this, want me.”

Sam stared at him as if he had grown a second head. “Dean, I have wanted you since I was 12, since I saw you after almost two years of you being gone. Fuck, I wanted to kill Dad, just so I could be with you, almost did.”

Dean let out a shaky breath, looking Sam in the eyes, “I killed him, Sammy. I did it. Needed you, couldn’t live without you.” Dean kissed Sam once more, a hungry kiss, as if Sam was everything he had ever wanted, needed, and hadn’t been allowed to have. “Want you so much, Baby Boy. God you have no clue what you do to me.”

“How long, Dean? How long have you wanted me like this?”

“Years. Fuck, Sammy. Wanted you like this ever since you came back into my life, though, fuck, I’ve always wanted you. God, I am damned, but you’ve always been mine, always was gonna want you I think.”

“Then why the fuck have you made me wait, Dean? It’s been four years, I’ve been here for you for four years now, waiting, wanting, needing you so damn bad. Watching as you fucked your way across the country, watched as you fucked anyone you could that wasn’t me,” Sam looked hurt, broken, and Dean wanted to make that look disappear.

“You had to say it was okay. You had to initiate it, Sammy. I couldn’t, I couldn’t make that decision for you. God, Sammy, I’m... broken, wrong... something has been twisted inside of me my whole life. I’m only sane around you. I couldn’t break that, couldn’t force something on you you didn’t want.”

Sam arched up against Dean, making it well known just how much he wanted this, wanted Dean, “Does that feel like I don’t want this? Fuck, Dean, I’ve been practically throwing myself at you for years, offering myself up to you, thought something was wrong with me.” He grabbed Dean, kissing him deeply, letting himself get lost in his brother’s kisses, his touches. Sam had never been this hard in his life, had never felt as needy or wanting as he did at that moment. “I’ve always been yours, Dean, you could have had me whenever, however you wanted. Never gonna be anyone else’s.”

Dean shuddered, the feeling of Sam so willing under him was driving him insane with lust, the voices that had been so quiet screaming at him to just take his brother, to make him scream, make him moan, make him come, make him bleed. Dean closed his eyes, trying to drown the voices, trying to make them go away.

“You hear them, too, don’t you, Dean? Telling you to take me, mark me up, claim me? They don’t go away, not entirely, they’re only calm when you’re near me, aren’t they?”

Dean swallowed hard, looking into Sam’s eyes as if he was seeing his brother for the first time. “They want me to hurt you, Sammy, want me to make you bleed.”

“Fuck, Dean, yes,” Sam purred, hands clawing at Dean’s back, pulling the shirt off of him and tossing it to the floor, “mark me up, Dean. Wanna feel it, wanna bleed for you, want you so fucking much.”

That was all it took for Dean to lose any doubts he had over doing this. He yanked those stupid boxers off of Sam’s body, tossing them onto the floor, before standing and stripping off the rest of his clothes. He was on Sam in a flash, kissing and touching, sucking marks onto his baby brother’s skin, biting and licking. Sam was moaning under him, arching up into Dean’s touches, legs spread wide and inviting. Dean smirked, eyes dark with lust. Sammy was his now and no one would ever touch him without Dean’s permission. 

He worked his way down Sam’s body, hands groping and grasping, fingers leaving small bruises in their wake, and still Sam begged for more. Dean wasn’t about to tell him no, wasn’t about to stop. He flipped Sam over onto his stomach, smiling as Sam lifted himself up, ass in the air for him to touch and use however he wished. There were so many things he wanted to do, so many urges he had been fighting, and Dean knew he could do them all and Sammy would say yes to all of them. 

Dean leaned forward, biting down on one of Sam’s cheeks hard, almost hard enough to draw blood. He could hear Sam’s moan of pleasure, could hear Sam begging him for more, and knew he would never hear anything as sweet as those breathy sounds falling from Sammy’s lips. He bit down on the other cheek, leaving a matching mark, before moving lower. 

Sam was trembling with want under him, holding himself open for Dean, almost whining as he begged his big brother for more. Dean had to taste him, so he reached out with his tongue, teasing and probing at Sam’s tight hole. Part of him knew that he was Sam’s first, but he wanted confirmation, “No one’s been here before, no one’s touched you, have they?”

“No, no, no one. Only you. Only wanted you to touch me, Dean. Saved myself for you, Big Brother.”

“Fuck,” Dean muttered against Sam’s ass, tongue moving slowly, teasingly at the tight ring of muscle. He could feel Sam tensing as he began to work his way inside, but a simple touch on his back from Dean had him calming down. Dean grinned, continuing what he was doing, working his tongue inside of Sam. He wanted more, needed to be inside of Sam, but knew that Sam needed to be opened up for him. He pulled away from Sam’s ass with his mouth, chuckling at the needy “No” that spilled out of Sam. He brushed against Sam’s hole with his fingertips, watching as Sam tried to push himself back onto Dean’s fingers.

“Slow down, Baby. We don’t have to rush.”

“Fuck slow, Dean. I want you in me,” Sam growled at him, teeth clenched.

Dean nodded to himself, moving from the bed to go get his lube. He poured some of the slick liquid onto his fingers, bringing them back to Sam’s ass. He began to suck on Sam’s neck as he slowly began to work one finger inside of Sam, searching out that spot that he knew would make Sam see stars. Sam kept thrusting back at him, forcing more of Dean’s finger inside of him, and the sounds that he was making were driving Dean mad.

One finger soon became two, and two became three, and Sam was cursing and begging and telling Dean that if he didn’t hurry up and fuck him already he’d go and find someone who would. Dean flipping Sam onto his back, his hand going to Sam’s throat. He looked into Sam’s eyes, his own dark, filled with lust and rage and madness, “You wouldn’t dare, Sammy. You belong to me and me alone. I even think you are cheating on me and you’ll pay.”

Dean shoved Sam’s legs apart, moving between them. He knew Sam wasn’t as stretched as he would have liked, but the boy had pissed him off with his comments. He grabbed Sam’s hips, slamming inside of his brother with a possessive howl of want and need and ownership. 

Sam cried out, it hurt, it hurt so much, but at the same time it was the most perfect thing he had ever felt. He hadn’t meant it, about him finding someone else, there was no one, there never would be anyone but Dean for him. But if it made Dean lose control like this... fuck. He wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, holding on for dear life as Dean fucked him hard and fast, possessively, showing Sam just who he belonged to. The voices were whispering in his head, happy, so fucking pleased that he had finally gotten Dean to do this, that he had gotten Dean to take him.

Dean could feel Sam’s fingernails digging into his skin, could smell blood, and knew that Sam had broken skin, but that thought just spurned him on, making him fuck Sam even harder, faster. Dean could feel Sam’s erection trapped between them, hard, leaking, dragging across his stomach with each thrust. He wanted Sam to come for him, wanted to feel Sam lose control as he was buried inside of him. He was still angry at Sam’s words, even though he knew the taunt was baseless, that Sam wouldn’t do that to him. 

Dean leaned in, biting down on Sam’s neck before kissing a path to his ear, “Come for me, Baby, come for your big brother.”

The words seemed to do the trick, and Sam came hard, clawing even harder at Dean’s flesh, screaming and sobbing Dean’s name, his head thrown back, body almost convulsing as his orgasm ripped through him. Dean could feel him tightening around him, his channel squeezing Dean’s cock hard in an almost vice-like grasp. It was enough to send Dean over the edge, filling his brother up with his hot come.

Dean collapsed onto Sam, panting, moaning his name. He felt good and right for the first time in his life, as if everything had been leading up to this moment. Sam was still shaking, eyes closed tightly, breath erratic. Dean had never seen a more beautiful sight. He slowly pulled out of Sam’s body, causing his brother to whimper with loss, and rolled over onto his back. Sam followed him, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder, leaving lazy little kisses wherever his lips could touch Dean.

They lay like that for a while, just content in each other’s arms, but Sam wanted more. He reached down and wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock and began to slowly stroke him back into hardness. Sam had been thinking about doing this for years, thinking about being allowed to touch Dean, to have him inside of him, thinking about being Dean’s everything. He leaned up and kissed Dean, whispering, “You know it goes both ways, Dean. No one else gets this anymore. None of your slutting around, Big Brother. I don’t share.”

“Fuck, yes, Sammy,” Dean moaned, eyes locked on Sam’s. He didn’t want anyone else, never really had, but he had taken what he could, even if it wasn’t what he truly wanted, even if the voices kept screaming that it was wrong. “Only yours, Baby Boy. Don’t want anyone but you.”

Sam nodded, knowing that Dean was telling the truth. He moved until he was straddling Dean’s body and took Dean’s cock in his hand once more, lining it up with his hole. He slowly began to sink down Dean’s length, moaning as he was filled in the sweetest of ways.

Dean grabbed Sam’s hips, helping Sam fully take him once more. It was just as good this way, being inside of Sam, getting to see his face as he lost himself in pleasure. Dean let Sam control this coupling, watching as Sam rose and lowered himself on his cock. 

“Touch me, please,” Sam begged, licking his lips, head thrown back in pleasure.

Dean wasn’t about to say no, not to Sammy, so he moved his hand off of Sam’s hip and wrapped it around Sam’s cock. He began to slowly stroke Sam, learning just what Sammy liked. It wasn’t long before Sam was coming again, his hot seed covering Dean’s hand and chest. 

Sam pulled off of Dean quickly, ignoring the “No” that came from his brother. He shoved Dean’s legs apart, kneeling between them, and leaned down to take Dean’s cock into his mouth. 

“Kinky little bastard,” Dean said in a fond voice, come covered hand coming to rest on the back of Sam’s head as he began to suck Dean in earnest, head bobbing up and down Dean’s length. He could tell Sammy had never done this before, but what he lacked in experience he was definitely making up for in enthusiasm. He could feel his orgasm approaching and barely got out Sam’s name before he was filling his mouth. “Fuck, Sammy,” Dean moaned, head flopping back onto the pillow as he came down from his orgasm.

Sam crawled up his body, curling up against Dean’s chest, a content little smile on his face. “You’re dirty,” he said in a sleepy voice, hand tracing random patterns onto Dean’s flesh.

“Mm, and whose fault is that?” Dean asked.

“Both of ours.”

Dean laughed, he had to agree with that. He held Sam for a bit before deciding that they needed to clean up. The room reeked of sex and sweat and blood and Dean glanced at the sheets, noticing bloodstains all over them. He knew most of it was his own, as Sam had ripped him open pretty good. “Come on, Baby Boy. Time to get up and get a shower,” he looked over at the clock, “besides, we have to check out soon anyway.”

Sam pouted but followed him into the bathroom. If they had more time Dean would have fucked him then and there, but he knew they had to leave, and leave quickly. The motel owner knew they were brothers and by the looks of the room it was obvious what had happened and Dean knew without a doubt that the cops would be called if it was found out what happened between them. Dean wanted to be gone and on the road before any questions could be asked.

They quickly showered and got dressed, gathering all their things before heading out to the car. Dean turned in the room key, brushing off the obvious proposition the guy at the counter was giving him. Rolling his eyes he climbed in the car, pulling out and going onto the highway, music pounding out of the speakers. 

They had been driving for about a half hour before Sam leaned over so that his head was in Dean’s lap. He winked up at Dean and undid Dean’s pants, pulling his cock out. With one final wink at Dean, Sam took Dean’s cock into his mouth, sucking him slowly, not really trying to get Dean off, but just wanting to feel Dean filling his mouth. 

Dean’s hands tightened on the steering wheel and he had to keep himself from looking down and watching what Sam was doing. It took all of his concentration to stay on the road, and when he finally found a place to pull off that was secluded he did, parking the car, allowing himself to just let Sam do what he wanted. “Mm, such a bad little boy,” Dean purred, hand on the back of Sam’s head, thrusting up into his brother’s willing mouth.

Dean allowed this to continue for a while, but he wanted more, needed more, so he pulled Sam off of him, and gave him a small little grin. “Get out of the car and drop your pants, Sammy.”

Sam did as he was told, licking his lips as he watched Dean prowl towards him. He let Dean shove him face first against the side of the car, moaning like a whore as Dean slowly entered him, his brother sucking an obvious mark onto his neck. Sam was in Heaven, full of his brother, being exactly what Dean needed of him. 

Dean’s hands tightened on Sam’s hips as he pounded into him, too worked up to care that anyone driving by could see them if they looked. He fucked Sam hard, hips moving quickly, fingers digging into Sam’s skin. “You like this, don’t you, Bitch? Like me fucking you where anyone could see you. Like being my little whore?”

“Dean, yes, god yes,” Sam moaned, head thrown back to rest on Dean’s shoulder as his brother slammed into him again and again, each thrust causing Dean’s cock to rub across his prostate. He was so close, so on edge, but he refused to come without Dean’s permission. “Please, Dean,” he whimpered.

“Wanna come for me, don’t you, Baby? Yeah, that’s it, come on, Baby Boy, let go for me.”

“Fuck, Dean, fuck, oh god, ohgod, yesssss,” Sam practically howled the words, body shaking as he came all over the side of the car.

Dean pounded into him harder, faster, chasing his own orgasm. He could feel it coming, was almost there, and when Sam tightened around him he let go, coming with a shout of Sam’s name. He didn’t give Sam any time to recover, pulling out of his brother before sinking to his knees, mouth going to Sam’s ass. He licked and sucked at Sam’s abused opening, licking out all his come. Sam was moaning and whimpering and Dean could see he was hard again for him, so he turned Sam around and took his cock into his mouth.

It didn’t take much until Sam was shooting down his throat, body shaking as he came almost violently. 

Dean looked up at Sam with a wink, licking his lips as he stood. “So good, Baby.” He kissed Sam, sharing their flavors with him. Dean was getting hard again, but he knew he could wait. “Clean up your mess,” he whispered against Sam’s lips, motioning at the side of the car.

When Sam did as Dean instructed, Dean shoved him into the backseat before he climbed in on top of him, sliding into Sam’s body once more. Dean took his time this time, slowly making love to Sam, coming inside of him only after Sam had came one more time for him. Afterwards he got Sam redressed and helped him into the front of the car.

Dean drove in silence, the radio off as Sam had fallen asleep not long after they started driving once more. The voices were still there, though more subdued than they had ever been, almost as if they were content for the first time in his life. He kept sneaking glances over at Sam, Sam who also heard the voices, Sam who was just as mad, just as damned, just as destined for Hell as Dean was. 

Dean knew he was going to Hell, but he really could care less. As long as Sam was at his side he’d be good.


End file.
